Charles and a monkey share a meaningful sidelong glance.

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2021 Slush Pile

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Hot Wheels

"No brakes bro. We have a fire."

Terrifying words. How did we get there?

Introducing Kyle, immersed in the highly dangerous world of illegal street racing. He's hanging out, camera in hand, with an anonymous driver at such a meet, getting a tour of his extensively modified Audi before the racing begins.

The highlight of this tour: a prominent sticker in the engine bay declaring the vehicle "may blow up: I built this shit myself."

As the racing gets underway the unidentified driver gave Kyle a choice of which button to press. One he called "money shot", the other was "balls deep". The response is that Kyle didn't go all this way to not go Balls Deep. The scene is set.

With camera rolling, the Audi is clearly on top. Until, at the end of one bout against a pricey McLaren, something isn't right. Drivers behind the Audi start flashing their lights and sounding their horns. As smoke and sparks begin to appear, the two men know they must escape, quickly, before the engine sticker comes true.

"No brakes bro. We have a fire."

At this point, they are travelling at 150mph. Downhill. The brakes have sprayed flammable liquid into the internals leading to the unfolding calamity. A jammed pin renders the emergency parachute useless.

Kyle starts hanging out his open door as smoke floods the Audi, and a plume of fire follows them down the highway. Various options are debated and rejected. Run into a wall? Try to turn the car around?

After more than three whole minutes wrapped into the world's most expensive barbecue they finally reach enough flat road to grind to a fiery halt. Two wide-eyed grown men come scurrying out and, despite the deployment of a fire extinguisher the driver's pride and joy rapidly burns down to a shell.

No morons were harmed in the making of this motion picture. Their survival means the footage lives on with them, to amuse generations to come.

Submitted on 03/01/2021

Submitted by: Iona Macdonald
Reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVUScuZ_YPA

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>> Moderator Scores <<

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
I'll vote this for HM since the passenger put himself in danger -many of those illegal mods are highly dangerous, and it's *known* they're dangerous. Thanks, Iona!


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
I agree with Candi. And the high quality video is a nice addition!