Charles and a monkey share a meaningful sidelong glance.

The Darwin Awards

2019 Slush Pile

Submissions From Readers
Which should we promote to winners?

Pending Review

Lord of the Rings

While the removal of a cock ring stuck on a penis is rather commonplace (and at least two stories made it to the awards: "The Thing Ring" and "Damned if You Do..."),

a 52 years old guy from Munich in 2016 tried to up the ante.

Whether he is a great Lord of the rings fan or just wanted to be the man of steel in bed we do not know.

Anyway, he obviously thought it could be a good idea to put not one, not two, but no less than thirteen (in numbers: 13) rings of steel on his penis. Unfortunately he was not able to remove them after whatever course of action, and suffered for four days until increasing pain finally overcame shame and made him visit a hospital.

The fire fighters were called and arrived with their precision angle grinders.

Working on his shaft for one hour they were able to remove the thirteen steel rings one by one. While we do not know if his reproductive system suffered permanent damage from this adventure, making him eligible for a Darwin Award, he at least tried hard.

And to add some extra pain to his wallet, the fire brigade considers this guy's actions grossly negligent.

Therefore, they bill 693 Euros (about 53 Euros per ring) to his account for their operation.

Sources (in German): https://www.facebook.com/feuerwehr.muenchen/posts/1043717985691543 (Official facebook account of the Munich fire brigade) https://www.t-online.de/nachrichten/panorama/id_78424244/feuerwehr-fordert-693-euro-fuer-penisring-einsatz.html https://www.queer.de/detail.php?article_id=26630

Submitted on 06/04/2019

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: https://www.facebook.com/feuerwehr.muenchen/posts/1043717985691543 (2019_06_04)


Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Given the sheer number involved I'm more than happy to vote for an HM for this guy. Thanks!


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Oh yes. And waiting four days to summon help! That's asking for whatever long-term damage resulted.