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2002 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random


Repeat Offender
2002 Personal Account

I recently created three opportunities to remove myself from the gene pool. God must have appreciated the humor I provided that day, as I was allowed to survive to share my experience with others.

(1) While working on the electrical system in my basement, I decided to remove an outlet without shutting down the circuit. I began unscrewing the outlet with my hand on the shaft of the screwdriver. The screwdriver slipped and jammed into the main wires, sending 120-volt vibes through my body. Fortunately, my convulsions jerked me free, but I stumbled into a tool shelf, and power saws, drills, and other heavy objects rained down on me.

(2) Scraped, bruised, and stunned, I collected my wits and decided I had been wrong to neglect shutting off the circuit. The fuse box was located in the ceiling, of all places. I climbed a stepstool beneath it, reached up with one hand, and released the safety catch. The 5-lb wood door swung down and smacked me in the face, breaking my nose and knocking me off the ladder and onto the concrete floor.

(3) Now I was mad. I grabbed the nearest object, a crescent wrench, and whipped it at the fuse box. It ricocheted from the fuse box door to the basement window, shattering the window and sending shards of glass everywhere. Still stunned from the blow from the fuse box door, I walked barefoot across the floor...

After bandaging my feet, cleaning various scrapes and wounds, and staunching the blood flow from my nose, I called it a day. © 1994 - 2020
Reference: Minor Idiot

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