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2002 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random


"Do Not Drink"
2002 Personal Account

(January 2002) My 18-year-old cousin pulled a wonderful stunt. Davey is not known for his stellar common sense, but he really upstaged himself. This boy is constantly in trouble so it didn't surprise me when I heard the details of his most recent ordeal.

My cousin, during one of his chronic underage drinking sprees, became alarmingly convinced that he had contracted an STD from the wrong kind of girl. He was urinating blood, and it hurt.

But instead of going to a doctor, he comes up with an eradication plan of his own. He goes into the laundry room and picks up a bottle of bleach, thinking, "Hey a disinfectant!"

Davey pours himself a beer/bleach cocktail. He drinks it and wonders why his stomach starts to ache. My Uncle stumbles upon him in a stupor and rushes him to the emergency room. Crisis averted.

In a few years, I'm sure Davey will either kill or sterilize himself! © 1994 - 2020
Submitted by: Amanda

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