Charles and a monkey share a meaningful sidelong glance.

The Darwin Awards

2021 Slush Pile

Submissions From Readers
Which should we promote to winners?

Pending Review

Five men on a 3-person rowboat

Last night, five men who had been drinking set sail from Portsea Back Beach, a beach with rough currents just a few minutes away from Cheviot Beach, where a former prime minister went swimming and never returned. The rowboat only fit three men, not five, so one man stood on the side of the boat while the other was allowed to piggy-back on a man at the back. Just read the article for yourselves, and see how stupid the men were.

Divers Continue to Search For Missing Man

Grieving relatives and friends of a missing man, presumed drowned at Portsea Back Beach, are still awaiting for rescue divers to find his body.

Police divers and State Emergency Service volunteers had been at the beach since early yesterday morning after a 3-person rowboat carrying the missing man and four other people capsized.

A 22-year-old man, Noel Freeman, was found at the shore soon after the boat overturned. Paramedics tried for 30 minutes to resuscitate him, but were unsuccessful.

The man’s friend, Darcy Redburn, 26, of Rosebud, is still missing. Of the four other men involved in the accident, one was rescued by a group of nearby hikers, whereas the other three were found dead hours after Freeman’s body was recovered.

Friends of the missing man reported that they were told that divers had no chance of rescuing Darcy alive.

“They (the police) went up to my face and just told me he was dead.” Said Jacob Ballantine, a friend of Darcy since pre-school.

“There’s no easy way about it. It really is that simple. Everything just seems like one big nightmare.” Ballantine said.

The tragedy began on Friday evening, where the five men, believed to have been intoxicated, left the shore intending to catch fish.

Fin Mill, the only survivor of the accident, said that he sat at the front of the boat whereas two of his friends, including Darcy Redburn, sat behind him. For the other two men to fit on the boat, Noel stood up with one leg on the starboard and the other on the port, as another man in his early twenties sat on the shoulders of Darcy at the back of the boat.

A large wave allegedly hit the boat, causing Noel, Darcy and the man sitting on the shoulders of Redburn to fall into the water.

“We tried to turn around but it was too late.” Mill said. “We were knocked off the boat.”

None of the men were wearing, nor had brought, any lifejackets to prevent their deaths.

A group of hikers heard the cries for help and dived into the water, managing to save Fin from drowning.

Unfortunately, the hikers couldn’t spot any other men in the dark, thus nobody else could be rescued.

In January, four people were swept off rocks at Bushrangers Bay, resulting in one woman drowning.

Submitted on 03/05/2021

Submitted by: Henry
Reference: https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.abc.net.au/article/1308773

Copyright © 2022 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Tracy said:
Definitely Toss: Too Common
Thanks, but it appears they were intoxicated, which removes the possibility of a DA for me


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
What the FUDGE were they thinking!?! And since they all willingly went out on the boat in that condition (plastered and overloaded), they're all eligible for DAs and HMs. Thanks Henry!


James said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
As Candi said!