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2007 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random


The Flaming Shot
2007 Personal Account

Grain alcohol and fire don't mix.

After consuming many cocktails at a party, my friends and I had a BRILLIANT idea to pour a shot of ALCOHOL and set it on FIRE and drink it. I believe the ultimate goal was to impress the ladies present.

This excellent suggestion would be easy to accomplish, since we had nearly pure grain alcohol in front of us. Let me add that the person who described the flaming shot neglected to mention that you are supposed to blow it out before swallowing it.

So we poured the liquor into a shot glass and set it on fire. So far, so good! We looked at each other, each hoping someone else would volunteer to be the guinea pig. After much debate, we had our first contender. My friend proceded to pick up the shot glass, put it down, pick it up, put it down, and finally he simply stared at the flames for a good two minutes.

"C'mon, man up!"

"?!$%!! that!" he declared.

I decided that the democratic process would produce no results. I picked up the hot glass, and slammed the flamming concoction down my throat. Upside: the fire was quickly extinguished after I closed my mouth. Downside: the inside of my mouth felt and tasted like it was burning. For two days.

I was too much in shock to speak.

The friend who had previously hesitated saw how easily the shot had been dispatched, and prepared another for himself. Not to be outdone, he poured the grain alcohol right up to the rim of the glass and lit it. Upside: he would out-do me! Downside: completely full shot glasses are difficult to lift without spilling. And if the liqour is on fire when it spills...

He proceded to light his hand and the countertop on fire. Then, demonstrating that drinking does in fact reduce reaction time, he tried to stop drinking it but ended up pouring it on his face and sweatshirt. Upside: his goatee insulated his face from the fire. Downside: hair is flammable. He caught on fire.

Most of his facial hair was burning by the time we stopped laughing long enough to realize he had no idea what to do. We extinguished the growing blaze by slapping him in the face with a kitchen towel. Fortunately for us, but less fortunately for the gene pool, this event did not qualify anyone for a Darwin Award.

Moral: Any feat involving fire and grain alcohol that is described as brilliant... isn't.

"The ultimate goal was to impress the ladies present."


Reader Comments:
"Lick, sip, and duck!"
"A red hot time." © 1994 - 2020
Submitted by: Colin

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