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I work in a geology lab with very smart people. James can tell you the
petrogenetic peculiarities of low-alkali tholeiitic basalt after
hydrothermal alteration. But our hero James recently demonstrated that
there is a significant difference between intelligence and common sense.
While casting about for ways to rid himself of a pesky wasp nest, his eye
fell upon his trusty Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner. Armed with this fearsome
weapon, James attacked the wasp nest. He sucked up all the wasps, who
buzzed angrily as they struggled in vain against the wind-tunnel. The
dustbag was soon alive with their buzzing.
James now found that he had a new problem: to wit, a vacuum cleaner bag
full of live, disgruntled wasps. He had to find a way to kill them before
he could safely turn off the vacuum. And while his previous idea was merely
ill-considered, his next was a moronic masterpiece.
He held the vacuum tube in one hand, a can of RAID in the other, and
proceeded to spray the insecticide into the vacuum. What our smart young
scientist failed to remember is that aerosols are flammable, and vacuum
cleaner motors generate heat. The resulting explosion removed his facial
hair, and scattered the dusty, angry contents of the Dirt Devil all over
the vicinity.
Adding insult to injury, James was not the only one to survive with minor
injuries. The wasps proceeded to vent their spleen upon the exposed (and
slightly scorched) skin of the scientist, who referred to the episode as
"an unfortunate lapse in calculation of consequences."
Reader Comments:
"Of Wasps and Men"
"No good deed goes uns(t)ung."
"Catching a buzz."
ORIGINAL SUBMISSION
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Catching a Buzz
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