Charles and a monkey share a meaningful sidelong glance.

The Darwin Awards

2021 Slush Pile

Submissions From Readers
Which should we promote to winners?

Pending Review

Unacceptable uses for epoxy

Miss Darwin says, "Is this confirmed? Holy ka moly. The insane logic -- yes obviously true that strong epoxy could seal a urethra shut ... But temporarily? A stable genius might seal the urethra short-term for short-term pleasure, But to seal the urethra shut long-term would signify a Darwin Award winning mental cogitation.

URBAN LEGEND. 404: Page Not Found.

After an initial burst of enthusiasm for this new romance, I'm reluctant to cool off. But there's no corroborating evidence, my friends. Google Search for the source citation at TImes Of India finds...crickets. The only reference (and I use that term loosely) is one 'missing link' repeated cited by online rags such as Newsweek and Forbes and NY Post who gush gleefully about the gig with plenty of details and speculative color.


Let's consult with Favorite Fact Checker. SNOPES verifies the existence of a related weird Jiftips Penis Product designed to seal the penis on a temporary basis, so that ejaculate (if any) collects in the urethra. Something like slapping Tegaderm on the tip. While this dud Jiftips product is a Classic Snopes read, yet it adds no credence to the epic epoxy question before us today.

How can we give a Darwin Award to an Urban Legend? We cannot. Fans would tweet nasty and rightly so. But look thee on thy bright side: Now you know about Tegaderm, a super sticky transparent wound dressing that I personally recommend, a first aid product I turn to on an embarrassingly regular basis. Tegaderm just might do the trick for you too. Give it a try and click the Amazon link so I make 2c on yoou purchase!

Hmm. Unsavory PSA, "avoid shoving permanent glue up your urethra."


"Ahmedabad: Using adhesive instead of condom killed youth?"

A young couple in India discovered that epoxy is NOT a good alternative for a condom.

25 year old Salman Mizra and his fiancee decided a romantic evening in a local hotel was just the thing. So they checked in and went to the room. Both were known to be addicted to unspecified drugs and were apparently high as a kite. However, before they could get jiggy with it, they discovered they did not have a condom! So they did the only logical thing, they used the epoxy glue they had handy (for sniffing) and sealed his penis closed so she wouldn't get pregnant.

The police report stated that the epoxy had worsened medical conditions Mizra had and that resulted in his death. This author suspects that not being able to PEE may have played a part in it.

Submitted on 08/25/2021

Submitted by: Anonymous

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>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
Additional information on this submission that we previously accepted. Thanks!

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
Yes, this is the writeup we need! Thank you!