Pending Review
Morons in a canoe
About five years ago, I saw two fellows, in their early twenties in a canoe who were not wearing life jackets and did not know how to paddle. When they saw my daughter on our dock, they stood up and started thrusting their pelvises and making lewd remarks and immediately capsized. They could not swim and began screaming for help. So, I went out in my boat and pulled them in. They were both crying when I got them in the boat. I felt kind of sorry for them and when they got control of themselves, told them in a stern but "fatherly" tone told them the numerous things they had obviously done wrong. Then I drove them back to where they were staying.
About 15 minutes later, they were back, no life jackets and in the same canoe. When they saw my daughter they once again did the same routine hoping for a different result. Over they went, and once again, I had to go out in my boat and pull them in. Once they stopped crying, I told them about the Darwin awards, and how, by saving them, I had thwarted natural selection. I am pretty well built, and can be intimidating. I got them to agree to remain virgins, though, at that point they would have agreed to anything. However, it was pretty funny.
Submitted on 04/12/2019
Submitted by:
Bill Petrie
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