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2004 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random


Do-It-Yourself Bass Boat
2004 Personal Account

(September 2004, Arkansas) My son is a rescue diver with the sheriff's department. About two months ago, they were called out for an emergency rescue of several people who had fallen in the water, after their boat had tipped over.

When the rescue team arrived at the scene, other boaters had pulled two men out of the water and onto their boat. Two other cloth covered items were floating ominously in the river. But when the divers entered the water, they that these were not bodies.

The story was that the two men that were pulled out of the water had decided to do a little fishing. Bass fishermen spend tens of thousands of dollars outfitting their specialized boats with fancy electronic fish finders and other gear, and sometimes make the boats into floating palaces, with seats that recline while they're waiting for the Big One to strike. But not everyone can afford the best.

These two fishermen had to make do with a 14-foot, flat-bottom jon boat. Wanting to be comfortable, and not having the money for a real bass boat, these two dim bulbs decided to put a couple of La-Z-boy recliners on their skiff. They must have barely had enough room left for their supply of beer. Needless to say, they both decided to recline at the same time, and you can figure out the rest of the story.

My son said that he and the rest of the rescue team were laughing so hard that they could hardly do their job. © 1994 - 2020

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