The Darwin Awards

2016 At-Risk Survivor

Next Prev Random At-Risk Survivors have misadventures that stop short of the ultimate sacrifice. Nevertheless we salute the spirit of their colossal blunders with an Honorable Mention. Better luck next time!

Rivers Go In Circles, Right?
2016 At-Risk Survivor
Confirmed True by Darwin

(12 July 2016, Michigan) Stupidity doesn't get worse than this. Three bikini-clad women were stranded on the banks of the Muskegon River with no food, no shelter, no clothing, when their first river tubing excursion became a "Naked and Afraid" predicament of their own making!

A few hours before, while launching their new tubes at the Maple Island Bridge in Muskegon, they asked a passing stranger how to get back upstream. The stranger told them the river will make a big loop and circle around to take them back to the car. Using this joking advice to plan their trip, they gullible group set off downriver.

As dusk approached, the women realized that the river was NOT gonna circle back. They had been duped! They beached their tubes on a remote stretch of river and began to holler for help, having neglected to bring a cell phone, either.

Twenty hours after drifting away from the bridge they were saved by chance by a drift fisherman who heard the commotion and called 911. Rescued only three miles downstream of the launch point, we wonder why no one said, "Let's walk back to the car." What makes this situation even more ridiculous is that they were all local to the area!

Authorities offered obvious advice such as letting someone know your river plans, and packing cell phones and extra food. We suggest the gullible women take a grain of salt, too.


0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 © 1994 - 2020
Submitted by: Jamie
Reference: Detroit News

Previous Directions Next