The Darwin Awards

2009 At-Risk Survivor

Next Prev Random At-Risk Survivors have misadventures that stop short of the ultimate sacrifice. Nevertheless we salute the spirit of their colossal blunders with an Honorable Mention. Better luck next time!

Not Even Half-Baked
2009 At-Risk Survivor
Unconfirmed by Darwin

Fewer and more fastidious, female Darwin Award contenders prefer more wholesome methods for their special acts.

After an extended night shift, our heroine, a working mother, was bagged but decided to stay up a few extra hours until the kids came home from school. Being a thoughtful mom and a junk food junkie, the tired woman decided that this was the time to bake a cake.

Her ancient electric mixer had a detachable cord that plugs into the back, like your computer, only most computers have the sense to avoid the kitchen. Did I mention that these old electrical cords are ungrounded? Things were going well--butter, sugar, flour, cocoa--until the loose cord popped out of the old mixer and landed in the dough. Plop.

Ever the safety-conscious professional, she carefully turned off and set aside the completely inert mixer, and lifted the cord out of the batter. But what did she do with the dripping cake batter? She did what anyone would do--she stuck the live electrical cord in her mouth, and found herself on the floor, suddenly very wide awake.

Moderator James says, "I thought this was going in a predictable direction, but when you got to the part about her LICKING the cord, I couldn't stop laughing! She took every precaution EXCEPT the one that mattered."

AT-RISK SURVIVORS HAVE MISADVENTURES THAT STOP SHORT OF THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE. NEVERTHELESS WE SALUTE THE SPIRIT OF THEIR COLOSSAL BLUNDERS WITH AN HONORABLE MENTION. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!

Having lived to tell the tale and reproduced, she is twice disqualified from winning the Darwin Award, but there is an ironic twist. Who would relate such an idiotic thing? An Occupational First Aid instructor, introducing the module on electric shock. Surely anyone dumb enough to electrify herself mouth-first and honest enough to use it as a lesson afterward deserves an Honorable Mention.

No, I don't know what happened to the cake.

ORIGINAL SUBMISSION

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DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2017
Submitted by: Ron McIntyre
Reference: First hand account by the star of the story.

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