The Darwin Awards

2009 At-Risk Survivor

Next Prev Random At-Risk Survivors have misadventures that stop short of the ultimate sacrifice. Nevertheless we salute the spirit of their colossal blunders with an Honorable Mention. Better luck next time!

Motorized Bar Stool
2009 At-Risk Survivor
Confirmed True by Darwin

(4 March 2009, New Jersey) The Newark Fire Department was called to assist a man who had suffered injuries from a crash--while driving a motorized bar stool! The man claimed that his lawnmower/barstool hybrid could reach a speedy 38 mph on its five-horsepower engine, but he was traveling a sedate 20 mph when he rolled and crashed while making a turn.

Although under the speed limit, he was over the drink limit. During a police interview at the hospital, he admitted to consuming "about fifteen beers." When numbers reach the double digits, it's hard to be exact.

The driver was issued a citation for operating a vehicle (classified as "all others") while intoxicated, and driving with a suspended license--presumably the motivation behind his motorized creation. He pleaded not guilty, preferring a jury trial. Demanding, in fact, a trial before his peers. (Those of you who drive motorized bar stools and other unconventional vehicles, watch your mailbox for a jury summons.)

If the 28-year-old inventor wants to drive a hybrid, he should consider modifying his bar stool to corner better--once he regains the right to operate a motorized vehicle on public roads.

Reader Comments:
"License To Spill"
"Hybrid vigor--or evolutionary dead end?"

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Submitted by: Mike Durthaler
Reference: Newark Advocate, Boston Globe

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