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2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Motorized Barstool Adventure

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive."


ORIGINAL SUBMISSION:

Here is a fantastic Honorable Mention from my home town. Age: check; alchohol: Check; necessary safety restraints absent: Check; and thus ... necessary forethought exercised -- no and of course ... Darwin HM submission. Pictures are available -- this is very funny. Here is the link, the story itself is best: http://www.newarkadvocate.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/200903301518/NEWS01/90330023

Newark police cite man for driving drunk after crashing motorized barstool March 30, 2009

NEWARK — It was classified as “all others” under vehicle type in the Newark police crash report, but that category doesn’t do a motorized barstool justice.

Its 28-year-old creator and operator was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he rolled over the Frankenstein-esque lawnmower-barstool hybrid, according to a police report and court records.

On March 4, Officer Michael Trotter, one of the two members of the traffic unit, responded to the 500 block of Kelley Lane in reference to assisting Newark Fire with a man who had suffered injuries from a crash.

Subsequent investigation revealed that the man had been operating the motorized barstool on Kelley Lane when he crashed it while trying to make a turn, the report states.

The man claimed the barstool could reach speeds of 38 mph on its five-horsepower engine but that he was traveling at about 20 mph when he crashed it at 5:40 p.m., according to Trotter’s report.

He allegedly admitted to drinking about 15 beers during an interview with Trotter at the hospital, where he was transported after the crash.

He was issued a citation for operating a vehicle while intoxicated and driving under suspension, according to court documents.

The driver was arraigned last week and pleaded not guilty. He has demanded a jury trial.

Newark police says operating any type of machinery after consuming alcohol often has devastating consequences.

Submitted on 03/31/2009

Submitted by: Mike Durthaler
Reference: Newark Advocate, March 30, 2009

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
While drunk driving is way too common I think this guy is certainly deserving of his creativity, ability to drink 15 beers and stay on the contraption, and then have the gall to plead not guilty for drunk driving. I actually came across this article about 15 minutes ago myself, and I think the picture is certainly worth a thousand words in this case: http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2009/03/31/ohio_man_charged_with_drunken_driving_on_bar_stool/


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
I skipped this story on Earthlink earlier (and had to go read it just now) and -oh my goodness. WHAT was he THINKING!?! Thanks, Mike!


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