The Darwin Awards

2008 At-Risk Survivor

Next Prev Random At-Risk Survivors have misadventures that stop short of the ultimate sacrifice. Nevertheless we salute the spirit of their colossal blunders with an Honorable Mention. Better luck next time!

Roundabout Rocket
2008 At-Risk Survivor
Unconfirmed by Darwin

Two boys were playing with miniature rockets that they had acquired goodness-knows-where. Between the two of them, the idea was formed to tie a string around the rocket, tether it to the backyard birdbath, and thereby cause it to whirl around the sky. Since no sturdy string was at hand, one had the brilliant idea to swipe some freely available yarn from his mother.

The scheme was laid.

They lit the rocket and skittered back from the wheel of sparks they expected. But their expectations were dashed. Instead of watching the rocket spin around its tether, a different experience was in store for them. The flame of the rocket propulsion quickly burnt through the yarn, and the rocket found a new trajectory straight into a vulnerable stomach.

The boy was alternately clutching his gut in pain, and smacking it to remove the rocket and extinguish the flames. He came away from the experience with a large bruise and a ruined, and hastily hidden, shirt. The boys never told their parents what they did.

Here's the kicker: They had graduated from high school the day before!

Reader comment: "The protagonist is my ex-boyfriend. You can see why I'm glad I am no longer in line to assist in propagating his genes!"

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