The Turn Of The Screw
2008 Honorable Mention
Unconfirmed by Darwin
Unconfirmed by Darwin
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When a jam occurs, correct procedure is... what? That's right, shut down the machinery, open a hatch in the casing, and use a pry bar to dislodge the jam. Then start the machinery back up.
Incorrect procedure, as demonstrated by one worker, is to take a six-foot jimmy bar and bash the side of the casing in an effort to dislodge the jam. This is a bad idea because cast iron can fracture if abused. But the screw feeder is a rugged piece of equipment. It survived the bashing.
Our anti-hero then opened the inspection panel whilst the feeder was running. He spotted the jam and dislodged it with the same six-foot jimmy bar. Did I mention that the feeder is still running? Did I mention that it's a large and rugged piece of equipment?
The screw grabbed the end of the jimmy bar and whipped it around violently. The free end of the bar intersected our man's testicles. He landed in a crumpled, semi-conscious heap ten feet away from the now free-running feeder. Fortunately for him, the mangled bar missed him when it was flung free of the feeder moments later. Otherwise this story would have a more somber ending.
The unfortunate worker sustained injuries to his genitalia that necessitated a hospital stay. And worse, he put an end to the smelter's accident-free run in a public and highly amusing fashion. His pride was as crushed as his testicles. Almost.
Kalgoorlie is a mining town as famous for its hotels, hookers, and gambling as it is for being the centre of Australia's gold fields. But even by Kal's standards, this one was a ripper.
