My younger brother spent about 10 years employed as a leading hand fitter at the Kalgoorlie Nickel Smelter in Western Australia. I was visiting him for the weekend a few years ago, and he was laughing so hard telling me this story that he nearly wet himself.

One of the pieces of heavy plant at the smelter is called a screw feeder. It's a large cast iron tube with an Archimedean screw inside. As the screw turns it transports pieces of ore along its length. One of the drawbacks to the design is that it can, and does, jam if a piece of ore gets wedged between the edge of the screw and the casing.

When a jam occurs, correct procedure is to shut the feeder down, open a side hatch in the casing, and use a prybar to dislodge the jam. Then re-start the machinery.

Incorrect procedure, as demonstrated by one of my brother's co-workers, is to take a 6 foot jimmy bar and bash the side of the casing to try and dislodge the jam. This is a bad idea, as cast iron can fracture if abused this way, but fortunately the feeder survived the attempt. It's a big, rugged piece of equipment.

Our anti-hero then opens the inspection panel, whilst the feeder is running. He spots the jam, and dislodges it with the same 6 foot jimmy bar. Did I mention that the feeder is still running? And that it's a big, rugged piece of equipment?

The screw grabs the end of the jimmy bar and whips it around violently. The other end of the jimmy bar is caught by our man's testicles. He lands in a crumpled, semi conscious heap ten feet away from the now free-running feeder. Fortunately for him, the mangled jimmy bar has missed him when it was flung free, otherwise our story may have had a more somber ending. Unfortunately for him, he sustained crush injuries to his genitals that necessitated a hospital stay. Not to mention that he ended the smelter's accident-free run in a highly amusing fashion, and his pride was almost as crushed as his testicles. Almost.

For those that don't know Kalgoorlie, it's a mining town as famous for its numerous hotels, hookers and gambling as it is for being the centre of Western Australia's gold fields. But even by Kal's standards, this one was a ripper.

Submitted on 03/09/2008

Submitted by: Mat Meyer
Reference: Personal account

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Ouch! Just reading that story made me made me cringe. It never ceases to amaze me how many people think the human body is stronger & more powerful than heavy duty machinery. If you can find any articles about this accident please let us know and we'll gladly upgrade this to a well deserved HM. Thanks, Mat!

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Somehow, stories are funnier when Aussies tell them! This one is a keeper, Mat! I too was cringing. The next time I take a nickel out of my pocket (even though there's barely any nickel in the US five-cent coin), I will think of the screw feeder, the mook, and the six-foot jimmy!