The Darwin Awards

2005 At-Risk Survivor

Next Prev Random At-Risk Survivors have misadventures that stop short of the ultimate sacrifice. Nevertheless we salute the spirit of their colossal blunders with an Honorable Mention. Better luck next time!

Robo-Cop
2005 At-Risk Survivor
Confirmed True by Darwin

February 2005, Canada | Canadian winter nights are long and usually quiet, but one exception was the night Constable Morgan responded to a drunk driver call. He caught up to the errant driver and fell in behind in order to establish the commission of the crime. In a short distance, the driver missed a curve and slid into a snow bank. Morgan switched on his lights, stopped his patrol unit, and approached the driver's door.

The driver decided to flee. His tires, mired in the snow, spun wildly but the car went nowhere. Constable Morgan thought he would have a little fun. He began running in place alongside the driver's window. The driver was surprised to see the Constable keeping up with his car. The speedometer read 100 kph.

Constable Morgan broke the window glass with his flashlight and ordered, "Pull over!" The driver's response? He jammed the pedal to the metal!

The car's speedometer had reached 175 kph yet, astonishingly, the Constable was keeping pace and ordering the driver to stop. Finally, convinced he was never going to outrun the fleet-footed officer, the drunk man let off the gas, turned the wheel, and brought his car to a "stop." The Constable escorted the man to his patrol vehicle, which had magically followed the two on their mad dash across the snow-covered tundra.

The man was charged with DWI, speeding, and failing to yield to a policeman. Brought before the judge for arraignment, the man, who had not quite regained his wits, saluted the incredible athletic prowess of the local officers.

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Reference: Canadian L.E. Bulletin, Feb 2005

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