The Darwin Awards

1999 At-Risk Survivor

At-Risk Survivors have misadventures that stop short of the ultimate sacrifice. Nevertheless we salute the spirit of their colossal blunders with an Honorable Mention. Better luck next time!

Briefs Beat Breathalyzer
1999 Darwin Awards At-Risk Survivor
Unconfirmed by Darwin

(September 1999) High school students burst into gales of laughter when testimony revealed that a Stettler man had eaten his underwear while under arrest, in the vain hope that it would absorb alcohol before he took a breathalyzer test.

The defendant, an 18-year-old man named Daniel, was collared by a constable when he fled from his vehicle after being pulled over for erratic highway driving.

The constable testified that Daniel ripped the crotch out of his shorts and stuffed the fabric in his mouth while sitting in the back of the patrol car.

The Breathalyzer registered 0.08% blood alcohol, the legal limit, and prosecutors were unable to convict Daniel of driving under the influence.

Guffawing 11th and 12th grade law students, unable to maintain their composure, were escorted from the courtroom by their instructor. To seal Daniel's humiliation, his photograph appeared in the local newspaper the next day.

Addendum by Gene Furman:
I heard this one on the radio about 10 years ago, so it should probably be classified as an urban legend, or as "really really stupid" if he heard the same report as I did and decided to try it himself!

Submitted by: Eric Swain

Reference: D'Arcy Rickard of The Advocate
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