The Darwin Awards

1999 At-Risk Survivor

At-Risk Survivors have misadventures that stop short of the ultimate sacrifice. Nevertheless we salute the spirit of their colossal blunders with an Honorable Mention. Better luck next time!

Zany New Zealand Contest
1999 At-Risk Survivor
Confirmed True by Darwin

(7 June 1999, New Zealand) A computer technician trainee set his own penis aflame in a successful attempt to win $NZ500 cash and an equal bar tab.

Thomas stapled his penis to a white crucifix, poured cigarette lighter fluid over it, and set it on fire in his bid to win a controversial "How Far Will You Go?" promotion for Trader McKendry's Tavern in Christchurch. The event, sponsored by New Zealand Breweries, encouraged patrons to compete for the most lewd act.

Thomas walked away with the top prize, which he used for car registration, a warrant of fitness, and registration for his bloodhound Puss. He obtained free medical treatment for his bruised and burned penis at a student clinic, He says his member "was a wee bit tender the next day," but after two weeks he has almost recovered, and expresses no regrets about his actions.

The prize winner claims he is no masochist. "I'm a student so every bit helps. It was worth the money, and it's all better now. I thought my act was unbeatable.' He intends to use the bar tab to buy burgers and pies every day for lunch.

Thomas' mother Barbara, who was in the audience, was pleased her son won. "He is a grown man and I'm relieved that he won. I would have hated for someone to go through all that and not achieve the object of it all."

Pictures of Thomas' Qualifying Round from please send proof of your adult status to Darwin. Ask for the Zanies.

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Submitted by: Ian Garland, Jed Durso

Reference: Sunshine Coast Daily, Queensland, Australia, and NZPA
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