Puffy Fox Cheeks
2000 Urban Legend
(September 2000, Aspatria*) "This whole story has been blown out of proportion," said a spokeswoman for the Over&Sons Garage. "It is true that a man walked onto our forecourt in the Market Place with a fox under his arm last week, pushed the compressed air nozzle of the into its rectum, popped 20p in the slot, and pumped it until it exploded. But what the reports fail to mention is that the animal was already dead.
"All that really happened was that an amateur taxidermist had brought the dead fox in and asked if he could pump some air between the fur and the skin to loosen the pelt. He just overdid it a bit, then fled in embarrassment." There were animal parts scattered all over the forecourt, and a cluster of shocked and horrified people.
"The garage has been under siege for several days following a report on calling the act sick and disgusting.'" Animal rights activists have been calling the station and threatening reprisals. "Nobody will work here alone anymore."
Its hard enough to hold a living fox, let alone insert an airline up its rectum, I should imagine".
Police confirmed that they had identified the taxidermist, and are convinced that no criminal act has taken place. However, they did warn the fox-stuffer about the advisability of inflating animals in public places.
** Darwin is Dubious.
Ass-patria? Unprofessional phrases? Police apprehending a taxidermist for fox-stuffing? Hmph. I say it's an Urban Legend.
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Submitted by: chikenspanker
Reference: Cumbria Times & Star, Private Eye
