Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.
1996 Urban Legends

The following stories are apocryphal. They are included on the Darwin Awards website because they are inspirational narratives of the astounding efforts of legendary Darwin Awards contenders.

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Unfortunate Husband 
1996 Urban Legend

A husband in Los Angeles was deathly afraid of heights. Nevertheless, one day he found it necessary to climb onto his roof to adjust the TV antenna. His fear impelled him to take precautions against falling from the roof. He tied a sturdy rope around himself, and affixed the other end to the bumper of his car. Unfortunately, he neglected to inform his wife of his activities. She had just finished making a shopping list, and she got into the car and began to drive to the store. Her husband was pulled from the roof and dragged down the street before a startled neighbor alerted the wife to the fact that she had some extra cargo. The man was rushed to the hospital, where he spent many days recovering from broken ribs and severe lacerations.

The story does not end there. To make amends, the contrite wife planned a little surprise party for her husband on the day of his return from the hospital. She invited several mutual friends over to enjoy the homecoming, most of them smokers. Since the wife and husband smoked too, they had several lighters around the house, and the wife decided to fill them before the guests arrived. To be safe, she took them all into the bathroom and filled them over the toilet. Have you guessed yet? The husband needed to use the bathroom immediately afterward. He sat on the toilet, picked up a magazine, and threw his cigarette into the toilet. Kaboom!

Submitted by Werepoodle
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