Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2019 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Two Texans Die Trying
2019 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

 sketch of a raising drawbride, sailboats in the background. (24 May 2019, Louisiana) Like ill-fated Madame Curie, may their experiment be a warning to you, my friend. South of Lake Charles, Black Bayou Drawbridge was CLOSED to cars and OPEN to boats. Evidentially this was an irresistible Friday Night challenge to Texas Man (32) and Texas Man Two (aged 23).

The Chevy Cruze stopped on Black Bayou Bridge, and a Texas Man emerged and PUSHED UP the safety gate for the DRAWBRIDGE !!! His second mistake was to JUMP BACK IN as the driver accelerated rapidly up the open drawbridge ramp, thinking, "Shoot the gap!"

You cannot live long if the road's IQ is higher than your own. In this IQ test, our Double Darwin winners failed; indeed they set a new low. Because these Texas Men--unlike the Blues Brothers--lacked "Cop Tires. Cop Engine. Cop Suspension, and a Mission From God."

A witness observed a passenger emerge and push up the arm of the safety gate, then get back in while the driver backed up a bit and accelerated hard over the dra-bridge edge. Over the bridge and through the waves, our DOUBLE DARWIN WINNERS paved new ground, and demonstrating a new "dead end" leading off the path of evolution.

The Shoot-The-Gap tragedy happened at 2AM. The car sank from sight, and it was no easy task to locate the wreck. Louisiana state police divers eventually located and lifted the vehicle with pontoons and recovered two drowned bodies from the Black Bayou. Identities are identified in this CNN News article.

Double Darwin - a twofer! Take heed, and practice patience on the drawbridges of life.

Reader Comments:
"Flukes Of Hazzard," alternate title. -J.SMith
It was "Hold my beer," now it's "Hold my bier." -B.Osborn
"Their problem is they weren't blues artists from Illinois." -J.D.Thompson
"That car has some serious airbags." -R.How
"I hope the boat made it through OK."B.Ryng
"Hollywood and Alcohol." -C.Cotter
"Physics always wins."
"They missed the boat - in two ways." J.Crobaugh © 1994 - 2022
Reference: and CNN News
Submitted by: Nominus Inepta via FB

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