A Chronicle of Enterprising Demises
Honoring those who improve the species...by
accidentally removing themselves from it!

Women winning Darwin Awards?!
Crazy! We haven't seen this many since never. Four below, and just coming across my desk is this report: "Angela's mother admits her daughter was 'always in a party mode.' The 20-year-old woman was playing Nintendo in the passenger seat of a pickup when she threw her head out the open window. She was killed when her head struck several mailboxes. Authorities said the woman was 'just hanging out the truck window having fun.' Her mother found the story 'credible.'" Below are 4 more wonder women:

	Double Dipping (darwin award) North Carolina | Greensboro was innundated with four inches of rain in two hours but Rosanne, 50, was not deterred. Declaring, "My moped has two rubber wheels, I'll be fine," she hopped on her moped and headed to a convenience store for a beer... Read on.
	She Talks Faster Than She Walks (darwin award) Louisiana | Annoyed at how slowly her boyfriend was driving, Tamera B., 22, encouraged him to pick up the pace so she could get to work on time. Joking that it would be faster to walk to work, she opened the door of the truck and stuck her foot out... Read on.
	Trifecta Electra! (darwin award) Florida | The Slush Pile mods say age fifteen is too young to win, but this case might be an exception. A family of three, a mother and father and 15-year-old son were putting up a ham radio antenna... Read on.
	Gimpy Wendy (near miss) California | Wendy Darwin Northcutt, writer of humorous obituaries and author of five Darwin Awards books, nearly made her own dark list when she broke her leg devising a clever way to cool the house during a California heat wave... Read on.
	It's The Cure That'll Kill You (near miss) On Mother's Day a poor woman was brought in suffering from a venomous snake bite to her right hand. The 53-year-old was strolling with her family in celebration of the holiday when she spotted a small brown snake... Read on.
Nurses, doctors, and emergency responders tell the best stories! They are generally unconfirmed, but I tend to trust the medico's. Why fib with so many weird medical emergencies to draw upon? Below are recent contributions:
	Pill Pusher (near miss) Pennsylvania | My husband worked at a small, busy rural pharmacy. Early one morning he dispensed a prescription for anti-nausea tablets and suppositories to the mother of a teenager, labeled with clear directions... Read on.
	Single Bud Vase (near miss) A nurse on a busy surgical unit reports on a young patient with severe penile lacerations. The 21-year-old patient confided that, upset by his girlfriend's unwillingness to have intimate relations, he had romanced a flower vase... Read on.
	On Call Orthopod (near miss) "I was the lucky orthopedics resident on call on July 4th when a gentleman reported to the trauma unit peppered with thousands of black spots of embedded gunpowder, face, chest, and arms..." Read on.
	Saw It Coming! (darwin award) Pennsylvania | A severe storm damaged power lines and left 17,000 homes without electricity. Seven hours after the electricity failed, Mieczyskaw Mil finally lost patience. The old man had been shooed away repeatedly by firefighters who were guarding the power line, but they were not prepared for the homeowner's sudden bold move... Read on.
Hey hey hey! Yet more stupidity below.
	Silly Putty (near miss) Oklahoma | A Shawnee area man suffered an 'accidental' gunshot wound to his abdomen when the 21-year-old marksman fired a shotgun shell loaded with Plumber's putty into his own stomach... Read on.
"Just think how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider!" --George Carlin
There is occasional dissatisfaction with the Darwin Awards Rules age limit, normally set at 16. Says moonflake, "It's a pity. This ex-idiot is a perfect candidate, but was only 15: 'The group of boys said they were train surfing in memory of three friends who died doing the same thing last Friday. One boy fell off the train and died on the scene.' I have no words." What do you think, should this fifteen-year-old win a Darwin Award?

Changes in Status:

Some true stories are unconfirmed until alert fans supply references. Other stories are labelled "confirmed" but new information reveals I was fooled. And some just shouldn't have been posted. Here are the latest updates:

18 New Apropos Quotes!

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"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." -Peter Ustinov

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