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Literary Quotes
Support your species--
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Darwin Awards Next Evolution: Chlorinating the Gene Pool. Hardback.
Available in retail bookstores, and online at Amazon,
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Darwin Awards 4: Intelligent Design. Paperback. Available in local
retail bookstores, and online at Amazon,
Barnes&Noble,
Borders, IndieBound,
etc.
Support your species-- buy a book!
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Within These Portals Lurk 786 Enterprising Demises.
Women winning Darwin Awards?! Crazy! We haven't seen
this many since never. Four below, and just coming across my desk is
this report:
"Angela's mother admits her daughter was 'always in a party mode.' The
20-year-old woman was playing Nintendo in the passenger seat of a pickup
when she threw her head out the open window. She was killed when her head
struck several mailboxes. Authorities said the woman was 'just hanging out
the truck window having fun.' Her mother found the story 'credible.'"
Below are 4 more wonder women:
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Double Dipping
(darwin award)
North Carolina | Greensboro was innundated with four inches of rain in two
hours but Rosanne, 50, was not deterred. Declaring, "My moped has two
rubber wheels, I'll be fine," she hopped on her moped and headed to a
convenience store for a beer...
Read on.
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She Talks Faster Than She Walks
(darwin award)
Louisiana | Annoyed at how slowly her boyfriend was driving, Tamera B., 22,
encouraged him to pick up the pace so she could get to work on time. Joking
that it would be faster to walk to work, she opened the door of the truck
and stuck her foot out...
Read on.
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Trifecta Electra!
(darwin award)
Florida | The Slush Pile mods say age fifteen is too
young to win, but this case might be an exception. A family of three, a
mother and father and 15-year-old son were putting up a ham radio
antenna...
Read on.
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Gimpy Wendy
(near miss)
California | Wendy Darwin Northcutt, writer of humorous obituaries and
author of five Darwin Awards books, nearly made her own dark list when she
broke her leg devising a clever way to cool the house during a California
heat wave...
Read on.
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It's The Cure That'll Kill You
(near miss)
On Mother's Day a poor woman was brought in suffering from a venomous snake
bite to her right hand. The 53-year-old was strolling with her family in
celebration of the holiday when she spotted a small brown snake...
Read on.
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Nurses, doctors, and emergency responders tell the best stories! They are
generally unconfirmed, but I tend to trust the medico's. Why fib with so
many weird medical emergencies to draw upon? Below are recent
contributions:
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Pill Pusher
(near miss)
Pennsylvania | My husband worked at a small, busy rural pharmacy. Early
one morning he dispensed a prescription for anti-nausea tablets and
suppositories to the mother of a teenager, labeled with clear directions...
Read on.
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Single Bud Vase
(near miss)
A nurse on a busy surgical unit reports on a young patient with severe
penile lacerations. The 21-year-old patient confided that, upset by his
girlfriend's unwillingness to have intimate relations, he had romanced a
flower vase...
Read on.
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On Call Orthopod
(near miss)
"I was the lucky orthopedics resident on call on July 4th when a gentleman
reported to the trauma unit peppered with thousands of black spots of
embedded gunpowder, face, chest, and arms..."
Read on.
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Saw It Coming!
(darwin award)
Pennsylvania | A severe storm damaged power lines and left 17,000 homes
without electricity. Seven hours after the electricity failed, Mieczyskaw
Mil finally lost patience. The old man had been shooed away repeatedly by
firefighters who were guarding the power line, but they were not prepared
for the homeowner's sudden bold move...
Read on.
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Hey hey hey! Yet more stupidity below.
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Silly Putty
(near miss)
Oklahoma | A Shawnee area man suffered an 'accidental' gunshot wound to his
abdomen when the 21-year-old marksman fired a shotgun shell loaded with
Plumber's putty into his own stomach...
Read on.
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"Just think how stupid the average person is,
and then realize that half of them
are even stupider!"
--George Carlin
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There is occasional dissatisfaction with the Darwin
Awards Rules age limit, normally set at 16. Says moonflake,
"It's a pity. This
ex-idiot is a perfect candidate, but was only 15: 'The group of boys
said they were train surfing in memory of three friends who died doing the
same thing last Friday. One boy fell off the train and died on the scene.'
I have no words."
What do you think, should this fifteen-year-old win a Darwin Award?
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