The Darwin Awards 

Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2010 Mentions
The Mettle of the Kettle
Flying Door
Medieval Mayhem
Shockingly Conductive
Pipe Cleaner
Anchor Bomb
Hard Science: With Zombies!
Real-Life Frogger FAIL
Skate The Interstate
A Little Dinghy
Alligator River
Other Mention Years 
2018 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum


2010 At-Risk Survivor
The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. Next Prev Random

Hard Science: With Zombies!
2010 At-Risk Survivor
Unconfirmed by Darwin

(personal acct)
Bub and I are great fans of zombie movies, and have passed many a late night in front of the T.V. with popcorn and DVDs. Ever since reading the 'Zombie Survival Guide' by Max Brooks, Bub is convinced that hordes of the undead will one day rise up. While trying to convince me of the impending apocalypse, Bub cited two facts that I found to be in error.

1) the human skull is one of the hardest surfaces in nature.
2) a medieval mace lacks the stopping power to crush it.

We argued these points for half an hour, without coming to an agreement.

The next morning Bub texted me to come over and settle the issue. He answered the door wearing his cycle helmet and led me to his backyard, where he handed me a lump-hammer (a small sledge-hammer) and told me to hit him over the head. I don't know if the helmet would have stopped the hammer blow or not, and I wasn't about to try it on my friend. Instead I devised a simple experiment, hoping to avoid any nasty injuries.

Bub and I went to the supermarket to buy two coconuts, one for the experiment and one because I really like coconut. We returned to Bub's house and proceeded to place a coconut on the paving in his back yard. I picked up the lump-hammer and with one solid blow, reduced the coconut to delicious shrapnel. As I was clearing up the shards of nutty goodness, I said, "If that was your head, you'd be dead."

I turned to see Bub trying to validate my theory by headbutting the second coconut as hard as he could. Bub was fine after a few stitches, thankfully not a Darwin this time--but I'll keep you posted.

Incidentally, Bub was vindicated. He did manage to crack the nut. Since he proved that his skull is indeed harder than a coconut, my experiment was inconclusive.

Reader comment: The unbearable hardness of being.

Reference: pete's personal account

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend © 1994 - 2018