Charles Darwin with a purple swarm around his head, contemplating the twist of fate that natural selection sidestepped these still-living honorable mentions.

2009 Honorable Mention

Next Prev Random Honorable Mentions have misadventures that stop short of the ultimate sacrifice. Nevertheless we salute the spirit of their colossal blunders with an Honorable Mention. Better luck next time!

Single Bud Vase
2009 Honorable Mention
Unconfirmed by Darwin

MEDICAL REPORT: I was a nurse on a busy surgical unit, and I received a report that a young patient was arriving with "severe penile lacerations." I could not imagine what this poor lad had done to injure himself. The 21-year-old patient confided that, upset by his girlfriend's unwillingness to have intimate relations, he had romanced a flower vase. Alas, in the heat of the moment the bud vase shattered, lacerating his penis.

He required emergency surgery. Afterward, the urologist told us that the boy would require a catheter for weeks, and he was unsure if his mojo would be functional. I felt sorry for the kid, but did laugh when I saw his girlfriend walking down the hall, bringing flowers.

Submitted by: Anonymous Nurse
Reference: Personal Account of Medical Personnel

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