Honorable Mentions have misadventures that stop short of the ultimate
sacrifice. Nevertheless we salute the spirit of their colossal
blunders with an Honorable Mention. Better luck next time!
Single Bud Vase
2009 Honorable Mention
Unconfirmed by Darwin
MEDICAL REPORT: I was a nurse on a busy surgical unit, and I received a
report that a young patient was arriving with "severe penile lacerations."
I could not imagine what this poor lad had done to injure himself. The
21-year-old patient confided that, upset by his girlfriend's unwillingness
to have intimate relations, he had romanced a flower vase. Alas, in the
heat of the moment the bud vase shattered, lacerating his penis.
He required emergency surgery. Afterward, the urologist told us that the
boy would require a catheter for weeks, and he was unsure if his mojo would
be functional. I felt sorry for the kid, but did laugh when I saw his
girlfriend walking down the hall, bringing flowers.