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2000 At-Risk Survivor
Although the stupidity displayed in the following tales stops short of the ultimate sacrifice, we salute the spirit and innovation shown in these misadventures. Next

Wile E. Coyote of Burglars  
2000 At-Risk Survivor
Unconfirmed by Darwin

(1 August 1999, California) 22-year-old Myner broke into a Los Angeles home at 3AM on Sunday, only to be confronted by the homeowner, an armed police officer, who fired when he saw the glint of a weapon in the intruder's hand. Myner realized he was in trouble and attempted to flee the scene, but succeeded only in stumbling painfully into a bed of cactus, where he lost his knife. After freeing himself from the prickly plants, he headed over the fence, a decorative wrought-iron barrier that speared him cruelly in the groin as he hurtled over to the sidewalk. Despite these blunders, he managed to escape, but was apprehended later that morning when he sought treatment for his injuries at the Anaheim Memorial Hospital. Sgt. Joe Vargas summed up his adventures by saying, "It wasn't a good night." © 1994 - 2017

Submitted by: David Green, Jeff Allendorph

Reference: USA Today, Contra Costa Times

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