The Darwin Awards

1999 At-Risk Survivor

Next
Prev
Random
At-Risk Survivors have misadventures that stop short of the ultimate sacrifice. Nevertheless we salute the spirit of their colossal blunders with an Honorable Mention. Better luck next time!

Mis-Steak
1999 At-Risk Survivor
Confirmed True by

(18 July 1999, Virginia) This steak-lover will be a "prime" candidate for the Darwin Awards any day now. The story began with a yen for a good steak, and ended behind bars.

Cornelious became embroiled in a dispute with a Waffle House employee over the quality of their steak-and-waffle plate. Police were dispatched to the Fredericksburg, Virginia Waffle Hut in response to Cornelious's call to 911, crying, "They're taking my money!"

At 1:10AM Sgt. John Barham was arrived at the breakfast café, and found the man pacing outside the restaurant.

The man stated that he felt his order of steak was not properly cooked, and that Waffle Hut had ripped him off by refusing to refund his money. The restaurant manager was interviewed, and agreed to refund the $21 to Cornelious.

The victory was short-lived. The sergeant ran an identity check, and found that Cornelious was wanted in for a probation violation. He hauled him off to the Rappahannock Regional Jail, where he is currently held without bail pending extradition to Florida.

Moral of the story: sometimes moral victories can be decidedly unsatisfying.

Submitted by: Cyrus Phillips

Reference: Kate Bailey, The Free-Lance Star, Fredericksburg VA
Share
Previous Directions Next