Darwin Awards II
"Unnatural Selection"
by Wendy Northcutt

What Are They?

Rules and Eligibility
Darwin's Theory of Evolution
Surviving Stupidity
Where Do Darwins Come From?

Penance:
Seven Deadly Sins

Kismet, Karma, Destiny
Vanity: Liposuction Tragedy
Vanity: Perilous Pose
Wrath: Throwing Stones
Greed: Crystal Daze
Sloth: Sleepfalling
Envy: Flames of Passion
Envy: Moscow Marauder
Gluttony: Ethanol Schmethanol
Gluttony: Men Eating Chili
Lust: Emergency Room Excitement

Water: All Washed Up

Weed Seeds and Biodiversity
Fishing with No Compass
Duct Tape
Dodging Drink Dues
Walking on Water
Dive to Death
Passionate Plunge
Show-Off
All Aboard
Sewer Shower
Brewery Mishap

Technology: Engines of Destruction

Discussion: Car Safety
Do It Yourself, Do Yourself In
Two Avalanche Alaskan
Forklift Safety Video
Electrifying Stunt
Intersecting Darwins
Power Punch Proves Fatal
Scooter Snuff
Circular Reasoning
Sweet Release
Snowball's Chance in Hell
Sand Surfing
House Hunting Gone Awry
Coors Light and the UltraLight
Mad Trombonist
Robot Reaper
Prop Arc Safety
Miracle Mile

Women: Femme Fatalities

Civilization Memes
Fast Food Fatality
Enraged Elephant
Rubbish!
Christmas Tree
Testing Faith
That Sinking Feeling
Aircraft Airhead
Fatal Footwear Fashion
Explosive Mix of Girls
Snow Bunnies
Dumb Drunk
Eat the Young
Brush with Stupidity

Men: Male-functions

Online Safety
Rappin' on Heaven's Door
Fantastic Plastic Lover
Bulletproof?
New Dating Technique
God Saves?
Settle the Score
Hardheads
Ur-inate-iot
A Fell Death
Cheez Whiz
Trash Compactor
Archery Practice
Tied to His Work
Chicken with a Train
Toilet Trap
The Bricklayer
Tourist Trap
Tube Snake

Explosions:
Out with a Bang!

Intelligent Design Theory
Out with a Bang!
Grenade Juggler
Fireworks Fiasco
Shell Shot
Guitars ‘n' Guns
Kaboom!
Plane Stupid
Fifteen Minutes of Flame
A Medieval Tale
Workin' on the Railroad
Man and Cactus
Man with Gas Can
Instant Sunrise

Appendices
1. Website Biography
2. Author Biography
3. Forum Decorum
4. Godwin's Law
Story Index

Outlaws:
Crime & Punishment

City Living
Human Popsicle
Ski Theft Backfires
Escaping Conviction
Killing Time
Just Say No!
Stab in the Dark
You Said a Mouthful
The Sting
Ferguson 2, Thieves 0
Morsel of Evidence
Call Girl
Bodacious Bud
Siphon!
Planning Ahead
Sobriety Test
Medical Misadventures

Animals: Pall of the Wild

Dogs and Darwinism
Hornet Challenge
Fish Gag
Sheep Sleep
Doggone Foot
Cactus Tales
Polar Bear Lesson
Feeding the Dolphins
Horsing Around
Lobster Vasectomy

Classic Dozen:
Better Read than Dead

Speciation
JATO
Junk Food Junkie
Midnight Special
Wrong Time, Wrong Place
Count Your Chickens
The Last Supper
Lawnchair Larry
Revenge of the Gopher
Frog Giggin' Accident
Metallica Concert Misadventure
Scuba Divers and Forest Fires
Dog and Jeep

Disqualified: Losing Is Its Own Reward

Not a Darwin: Do Bikes Float?
Not a Darwin: Underwire Bras Deadly
Not a Darwin: Texas A&M Bonfire
Not a Darwin: Body Canyoning
Not a Darwin: Our Brightest Cheerleaders
Not a Darwin: Fatal Case of Hiccups
Not a Darwin: Ice Floe Frolic
Not a Darwin: Shotgun Pepsi
Not a Darwin: Mania Strikes Back