Outlaws: Crime & Punishment
(Excerpt from Chapter 8)
Award: Human Popsicle
24 January 2000, Ohio | The Los Angeles Police Department
contacted Ohio police hoping to locate a missing truck driver and his
load of broccoli. The stalled truck was located in Ohio four days later
and towed to a local mechanic. They thawed and refueled the truck and
found that, apart from an empty gas tank, the vehicle had no mechanical
problems, but the driver's personal effects and seven bricks of marijuana
were discovered in the cab of the vehicle.
The trucking company and the police were both interested in the whereabouts
of the errant driver, and a search was initiated. Shortly thereafter
a patrolman noticed two feet protruding from between the pallets of
broccoli-feet which belonged to the missing man.
The broccoli was unloaded as quickly as possible in the cold Ohio winter,
leaving the frozen body of the driver standing precisely upside down,
attached to the floor of the trailer by his head. He was surrounded
by space heaters and eventually pried off the floor, but his frigid
corpse, arm extended, had to be turned on its side to maneuver it into
a rescue squad vehicle.
The Cuyahoga County coroner's office determined that the man had been
trying to retrieve a stash of cocaine from between the pallets of broccoli
when he fell and knocked himself unconscious. He soon suffered a fatal
case of hypothermia and died in the icy air. Perhaps this unfortunate
soul should have confined his drug smuggling to the more clement climate
Reference: Richfield Township, Ohio, Police Department
C h a p t e r 8 S t o r i e s
Darwin Awards - Honorable Mentions - Urban Legends - Personal Accounts
Ski Theft Backfires
Just Say No!
Stab in the Dark
You Said a Mouthful
Ferguson 2, Thieves 0
Morsel of Evidence
Author Bio: Wendy
Northcutt holds a degree in molecular biology from UC Berkeley. She
began writing Darwin Awards in 1993, and founded the website soon thereafter.