1999 At-Risk Survivor
| Although the stupidity displayed in the following tales stops short of the ultimate sacrifice, we salute the spirit and innovation shown in these misadventures. |
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Briefs Beat Breathalyzer
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(September 1999) High school students burst into gales of laughter when testimony revealed that a Stettler man had eaten his underwear while under arrest, in the vain hope that it would absorb alcohol before he took a breathalyzer test.
The defendant, an 18-year-old man named Daniel, was collared by a constable when he fled from his vehicle after being pulled over for erratic highway driving. The constable testified that Daniel ripped the crotch out of his shorts and stuffed the fabric in his mouth while sitting in the back of the patrol car. |
Guffawing 11th and 12th grade law students, unable to maintain their composure, were escorted from the courtroom by their instructor. To seal Daniel's humiliation, his photograph appeared in the local newspaper the next day. Addendum by Gene Furman: |
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The Breathalyzer registered 0.08% blood alcohol, the legal limit, and prosecutors were unable to convict Daniel of driving under the influence.
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