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1999 Honorable Mentions
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Although the stupidity displayed in the following tales stops short of the ultimate sacrifice, we salute the spirit and innovation shown in these misadventures. |
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Drinker a Digit Down 
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(1999, New York)
During the July 1999 heatwave in New York City, a dog in Queens made a
grisly discovery: a human pinky finger! The finger had apparently been
laying in the street for several days. Detectives from the 104th Precinct
soon unearthed the whole story. Investigators learned that a man named
Jose had walked into a Brooklyn Medical Center on Monday, missing his pinky
and the ring on it. Jose, who had been drinking, could not remember what
happened to his finger. Police confirmed that the dog's find (minus the
missing ring) belonged to Jose.
He was a two-fisted drinker, but now one fist is a digit short. Count to nine before you have another drink, Jose!
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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