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1999 Honorable Mentions
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Although the stupidity displayed in the following tales stops short of the ultimate sacrifice, we salute the spirit and innovation shown in these misadventures. |
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Drinker a Digit Down 
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(1999, New York)
During the July 1999 heatwave in New York City, a dog in Queens made a
grisly discovery: a human pinky finger! The finger had apparently been
laying in the street for several days. Detectives from the 104th Precinct
soon unearthed the whole story. Investigators learned that a man named
Jose had walked into a Brooklyn Medical Center on Monday, missing his pinky
and the ring on it. Jose, who had been drinking, could not remember what
happened to his finger. Police confirmed that the dog's find (minus the
missing ring) belonged to Jose.
He was a two-fisted drinker, but now one fist is a digit short. Count to nine before you have another drink, Jose!
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 Next
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Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection
Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.$15 A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools. This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization. Autographed by Author! |
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