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The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. |
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After an extended night shift, our heroine, a working mother, was bagged but decided to stay up a few extra hours until the kids came home from school. Being a thoughtful mom and a junk food junkie, the tired woman groggily decided that this was the time to bake a cake. The ancient electric mixer had a detachable cord that plugs into the back, like your computer, only most computers have the sense to avoid the kitchen. Did I mention that these old electrical cords are ungrounded? Things were going well - butter, sugar, flour, cocoa - until the loose cord popped out of the old mixer and landed in the dough. Plop. Ever the safety-conscious professional, she carefully turned off and set aside the completely inert mixer, and lifted the cord out of the batter. But what did she do with the dripping cake batter? She did what anyone does - she stuck the live electrical cord in her mouth and found herself on the floor, suddenly very wide awake.
Having lived to tell the tale *and* reproduced, she is twice disqualified from winning the Darwin Award, but there is an ironic twist. Who would relate such an idiotic thing? Our Occupational First Aid instructor, introducing the module on electric shock. Her sensitive position with a workplace safety organizaton impels me to hold back her name, but surely anyone dumb enough to electrify herself mouth-first and honest enough to use it as a lesson afterward deserves Honorable Mention.
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
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