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Darwin Awards
2008 Honorable Mentions
Email a Friend The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. Next Prev Random

Bench Press
2008 Honorable Mention
Confirmed True by Darwin

(6 August 2008, Hong Kong) It's raining. You're lonely. Why not?

That was how 41-year-old Xian found himself face down on a bench, and calling for help in the middle of the night. The lonely man had noticed that the steel sit-up benches in LanTian Park had numerous ventilation holes, and thought it might be possible to use them for sexual gratification.

Enticing orifices.

Once Xian became aroused, he found he was stuck and could not remove himself from the hole in the bench. Quite understandably, he panicked. Police received a call from a disturbed man, and arrived to find poor Xian trapped face-down on the bench.

Doctors were summoned to the scene. They tried, but emergency workers had to cut the entire bench free and take him to the hospital.

Four painful hours later, doctors finally separated Xian from his bench. It is certainly possible that the lack of blood flow easily could have caused sufficient damage that doctors would have been forced to remove his penis.

This is a bad date that Xian will never forget.

ORIGINAL SUBMISSIONS: (1), (2), (3), (4).

Reader Comments:
"What a predicament! (Pun intended.)"
"Wouldn't you think that a man from the country that invented the Chinese Finger Trap would have been able to figure out how to release his piece?"

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
Submitted by: Jordan Tritell , Tracy
Reference: weirdasianews.com, asylum.com, news.ninemsn.com.au

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The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

 


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