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Darwin Awards
2001 Urban Legends
Email a Friend The following stories are apocryphal. They are included on the Darwin Awards website because they are inspirational narratives of the astounding efforts of legendary Darwin Awards contenders. Next
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A Medieval Tale

2001 Urban Legend

During the late medieval years in Hungary, one of the oldest legends in our country took place. It may even be true.

The city Paks (pronounced pa:ksh) was a little village in the 1600s and today is a small city boasting Hungary's single nuclear plant. In the past, the village had trouble with a neighboring village. They kept sending their cows to graze on Paks land, and vice-versa, knowing my ancestors.

Once a foreigner attacked the Paks herdsman, beat him badly, and confiscated his cows. But this was not just any herdsman, it was the son of the mayor! The people of Paks took up arms - or rather, work tools they could wield as arms. The result was a small battle between the two villages, in which dozen of peasants bit the dust.

The brave Paks army retreated in defeat.

The mayor of Paks, undaunted, ordered his men to fabricate a cannon to blast the enemy to smithereens. It was easier to order it than to do so, as they did not have the necessary tools and materials to build a cannon. "No matter," said the wise mayor, "Chop a tree down, and create the cannon from its trunk!"

During the night the people of Paks created the first wooden cannon in history, ready for deployment. They towed it up a nearby hill, and the entire village gathered around to watch the victory.

The Gunmaster loaded the cannon with gunpowder, put a large rock projectile in the barrel, pointed the weapon towards the enemy village and fired it... KABOOMM!!

Twenty people near the cannon died, and many others were seriously wounded. However the mayor survived, and immediately issued a victory message for his people, saying: "If we have so many dead, how many can there be of the enemy?"

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
Submitted by: Tamas Polgar

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The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.
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185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...!

This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone.

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