Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2004 Mentions
Welding Warning
Kills Bugs Dead
Serbian Tsunami
Hammer Head
Permanent Prophylactic
Baked Bullet Surprise
Self-Protection
Hot Pants
Crotch Rocket
Overheated Engine
Exploding Boat
Clean Brake
Flaming Bungee Jump
A Fast Escape
White Russians
Exploding Outhouse
Testosterone, Chickens, and Guns
Other Mention Years 
2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2004 Honorable Mentions
Email a Friend The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. Next Prev Random

Hot Pants
2004 Honorable Mention
Confirmed True by Darwin

(30 July 2004, Georgia) A Walker County man's pants exploded while he was filling out forms for Social Service workers in front of his home.

Daniel, 39, was hard at work in his laboratory when uninvited guests knocked on the door. Because his work was rather secret, he poured two of the chemicals, red phosphorus and iodine, into an empty film cannister and stuffed it in his pocket before going out to greet his visitors. It was two social workers bearing forms, and Daniel walked them out to their car, sat in the back seat and began writing.

"He kept fiddling with his front right pants pocket," said the commander of the Drug Task Force. The film cannister was probably feeling warm as the red phosphorus and iodine began to react. These chemicals are key ingredients in the making of methamphetamine. What Daniel apparently did not know was that the now-boiling mixture of red phosphorus and iodine would soon reach 278 degrees Fahrenheit.

"All of a sudden, a loud bang happened, and fire shot from his pocket. It damaged the inside of the state vehicle." Daniel suffered second and third-degree burns to his testicles and leg. He was rushed to a Medical Center in Chattanooga, Tennessee, before being hauled off to jail. Sheriff's deputies raided the house and discovered his meth lab. He was charged with manufacture and possession of illegal drugs.

"That was one for the books," said a Walker County sheriff's spokesperson. "I've been in this business for more than 35 years, and that's a first.

Reader Comments:
"Don't do drugs!"
"An elementary error..."
"A new version of 'Hot Pockets' cuisine!"
"What not to put in your pants..."
"Another strong case against drug abuse."
"Talk about being all methed up."
"I know this one is true. We had him in OUR JAIL! He was made a trustee before he was released. That man could clean like hell, he could, he could!"

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
Submitted by: Erin Kelley, Sentinel
Reference: Atlanta Journal Constitution, foxnews.com

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop

Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend