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Darwin Awards
2000 Urban Legends
Email a Friend The following stories are apocryphal. They are included on the Darwin Awards website because they are inspirational narratives of the astounding efforts of legendary Darwin Awards contenders. Next
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Hot Apple Pie 
2000 Urban Legend

(March 2000, Idaho) A teenager who imitated a scene from the hit movie "American Pie" was severely burned when he tried to shag a hot apple pie. Dwight Emburger, 17, was rushed to the hospital with serious burns to his penis. He apparently could not quell his desire until the tasty pastry had cooled, and his reward was a penis badly scarred and scalded by the hot filling. A hospital spokesperson in Boise said, "This demonstrates that producers should consider the effects their films have on the idiot gene pool."

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Submitted by: Jeremy Adams

Anybody have a proof of the story? I don't consider the clipping shown on the left to be proof. (Steve says he saw the clipping in that bastion of the bizarre, Weekly World News.) It contains no verifying information.

Eric Hoffland has some information: "I was listening to the radio on 91x in San Diego, California when Chris Cantory, the DJ, made this story a part of his morning show. He actually called the guy on the phone and aired the conversation. The guy did not say, "Ues I had sex with a hot apple pie," but he did not deny the allegation either, when confronted with the newspaper article. I take that as an admission, and am convinced that the story is true.

John objects to categorizing this as an Urban Legend: "I know a number of people in Idaho who confirmed the story. the person was treated at St Alphonsas hospital."

Moon writes in to "guarantee that clipping is a fake. They don't release names of victims under the age of 18."

Preston Crow researched the last name and claims, "There are no Emburger's with listed phone numbers in Idaho. In fact, the online phonebook at anywho.com lists only a single Emburger -- in New Jersey. Unlisted phone numbers and errors in online databases are common, so this is not conclusive, but it is suggestive.

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The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

 


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