// Press Release -- 29 December 2005 DARWIN AWARDS NEWSLETTER - December 2005 --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who remove themselves from it. Of necessity, this honor is generally bestowed posthumously. --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ ON JANUARY 1st, the 2005 Darwin Award Winners will be announced! To tide you over until then, enjoy the nominees below. Research Scientists! Get paid for your knowledge. I need short, general-audience essays on deep science topics! http://darwinawards.com/old/main200512.writer.html DARWIN AWARDS: The Movie, premieres at the Sundance Film Festival! See the new Darwin Awards movie -- get yourself to Sundance! For more information, and a special prize for fans at Sundance: http://movie.darwinawards.com --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Darwin Award: FREEWAY DANGLER -- Confirmed by Darwin (31 May 2005, Seattle, Washington) Strength and endurance are two of the most important characteristics that can be passed on to improve the species, so physical challenges between males are frequent. In this case, two drinking buddies found themselves on an overpass 40 feet above a busy freeway in downtown Seattle at 2:45 a.m. It turned out to be the perfect place to determine who had more strength and endurance. Whoever could dangle from the overpass the longest would win! Unfortunately, the winner was too tired from his victory to climb back up, despite help from his 31-year-old friend. The unidentified champion fell smack into the front of a semi-truck barreling down the highway at 60 mph and bounced onto the pavement, where he was hit by a car. The car did not stop. Authorities did not identify the winner of the competition. http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2005-13.html --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Darwin Award: PLAYING WITH ELEPHANTS -- Confirmed by Darwin (7 March 2005, Hanoi, Vietnam) Nguyen, 21, had been drinking with friends in the Tu Liem district, when he pulled out an old detonator he had found. It was about six centimeters long and eight centimeters in diameter, with two wires hanging out. Because it was old and rusty, Nguyen said, it couldn't explode. His friends disagreed. To prove his point, Nguyen put the detonator in his mouth and asked his friend to plug the dangling wires into a 220-volt electrical receptacle. Turns out Nyugen was wrong! The victim had little time to reflect on his mistaken, or whether 220 volts alone could have been fatal. According to police, "the explosion blew out his cheeks and smashed all his teeth." He died on the way to the hospital. http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2005-02.html --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ HONORABLE MENTION: Clean Brake -- Confirmed by Darwin (5 November 2004, Greymouth, New Zealand) Sometimes it pays to use a cheaper substitute, thought Wayne, 19, as he replaced lost brake fluid with dishwashing liquid. He took the car out for a test drive and discovered that sometimes you get what you pay for. He applied his foot to the brake pedal as the car began to slide around a slight bend, but for some reason, the brakes didn't respond. The car spun completely around, clipped the curb, and slammed into a power pole. His trouble was just beginning, though, because Wayne had also saved money by not registering the car. There was really no point in registering the car, he thought, because his license had already been suspended. Wayne was sentenced to 220 hours of community service for driving with a suspended license, stealing two orange traffic safety cones, and dangerous driving. For what it's worth, his license was suspended for another year. http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2004-13.html --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ HONORABLE MENTION: Oops, Did It Again -- Confirmed by Darwin (31 July 2005, Darwin, Australia) A 30-year-old resident of this aptly named town of 60,000, nestled in the Northern Territories on the Sea of Timor, just wanted to go home. But he was thwarted by two circumstances. First, he lived in an upper-level unit in a high-rise apartment building, and second, he had locked his keys in the apartment. It was 4am. Some people do their best thinking in the wee hours of the morning, but our protagonist is not one of them. He concluded that his best course of action was to scale the outside of the building. He managed to climb a short distance before he slipped. Luckily, a parked car was beneath him to cushion the fall. He pulled himself off the shattered windshield and, unwilling to give up after one small setback, again set out to scale the wall. This time he reached the third floor before he slipped. He was less fortunate than before, as he landed on his head, yet also more fortunate, as this knocked him unconscious and saved him from a third attempt. He survived the fall, and was taken to Royal Darwin Hospital for treatment. Lest outsiders get the wrong idea of Darwin, Australia, we include a comment from a sergeant on the Darwin Police force: "It doesn't happen every day," he said. http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2005-02.html --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ VOTE ON THESE DARWIN AWARD WINNERS! DOPE ON A ROPE http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-21.html COLD CALL http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-20.html FAULTY BYPASS http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-19.html DO-IT-YOURSELF LANDMINE http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-18.html CAUGHT IN THE AUGUR http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin1995-06.html FLYING DUTCHMAN http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-17.html HUMAN TORCH http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2002-04.html SPY VS. SELF http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-16.html SNAKE MAN http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-15.html AND READ THESE HONORABLE MENTIONS! http://DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2004-18.html KILLS BUGS DEAD http://DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2004-17.html WHITE RUSSIANS http://DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2004-16.html OVERHEATED ENGINE http://DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2004-15.html PERMANENT PROPHYLACTIC http://DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2004-14.html --- // Press Release -- 29 December 2005