DARWIN AWARDS NEWSLETTER - MAY 1998 = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = TABLE of CONTENTS: WORDS FROM WEBMASTER WENDY TO 3075 SUBSCRIBERS MODUS OPERANDI MISFIRES BASKETBALL PLAYER TAKES A DUNKING YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE NEVER TOO OLD FOR A DARWIN AWARD MAN DIES WHILE READING WEBSITE = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = WORDS FROM WEBMASTER WENDY TO 3075 SUBSCRIBERS Philosophical Question of the Month: Suppose an individual is incapable of procreation due to age or infertility. Is she still eligible for a Darwin Award? Drop by and add your considered opinions to the Guestbook. German translations are now available, with French, Spanish and Dutch sections on the way. Want to do more for our Gene Pool besides passively read about Darwin Awards? Visit some folks who are doing something about it: Volunatary Human Extinction Movement at Speak with you again in June! = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = MODUS OPERANDI MISFIRES Randy Nestor, 28, was a considerate car thief. When the stolen cars became hot, he didn't just abandon them, he torched them. Setting the cars on fire, he reasoned, helped the owners collect insurance on their vehicles. This criminal habit became his downfall. After a 10-year career of theft, Randy burned to death in Pittsburgh, PA in a van which he had set fire to from the inside. He hadn't realized that the door handle on the driver's side was broken. Friends tried to release him, but the door was locked. His burned body was found inside the van on Sunday, 1 Mar 1998. Copyright © 1998 www.DarwinAwards.com = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = BASKETBALL PLAYER TAKES A DUNKING A Melbourne, Australia man was playing basketball with his brother and 16-year-old cousin, using a hoop affixed to his garage. After slam-dunking the ball, he hung on the rim for a triumphant moment. The bricks gave way and the wall collapsed on the 20-year-old man, fatally crushing him. His name was withheld by authorities, at the request of his family. Melbourne, Australia is not the safest place to play basketball. Ryan Maloney, 19, died in 1996 in a public basketball court when the ring collapsed on him after a dunk. The coroner recommended that dunking basketballs be banned. No heed was taken of his words. The tradition is still practiced throughout the world. Copyright © 1998 www.DarwinAwards.com = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE A 48-year-old man was discovered dead on his own couch four days after his demise. His wife, accustomed to his habit of lazing on the couch, assumed he was just snoozing as usual, and was reluctant to disturb him. She finally realized something was amiss when the apartment began to smell peculiar. She tried repeatedly to wake her husband, in order to enlist his assistance in determining the source of the odor. She realized something was wrong when she pushed him off the couch and he simply remained on the floor in an odd position. Paramedics called to the scene informed her that her husband had been dead for several days. He was immediately taken to the coroner, where the 48-year-old man's cause of death was detemined to be "unspecified natural causes." Copyright © 1998 www.DarwinAwards.com = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = NEVER TOO OLD FOR A DARWIN AWARD Bob Herschler, 77, of Olympia, WA, died from burns suffered last week after he placed a smoldering pipe in his shirt pocket. The pipe ignited a book of matches and soon Bob's clothing was ablaze. Family members quickly extinguished the fire, but not before he suffered third-degree burns to his chest and abdomen. The Thurston County resident died of pneumonia brought on by his burns at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle. In a related story, the life of Reiva Nix, a 67-year-old grandmother living in Egdewood, TX, was claimed in a tragic accident on March 31. She was cleaning her tennis shoes with gasoline when a nearby candle ignited the shoes which Reiva was still wearing. Alone at the time of the accident, she ran next door for help, and her neighbor extinguished the fire with a water hose. She died from burn wounds at 2AM at the Parkland Hospital in Dallas. Investigators noted that her flammable 65% polyester clothing contributed to the blaze. Chief Corbett said several people have told him they clean their shoes with gasoline. He cautioned others to be careful when using gasoline in any way. Copyright © 1998 www.DarwinAwards.com = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = MAN DIES WHILE READING WEBSITE May 5, 1998 -- Australia -- Urban Legend A 24-year-old Journalist was killed while reading the Darwin Awards Website. Apparently the material contained within was so funny that he choked on a chicken sandwich that he was eating at the time. Police have ruled out any fowl play. (Urban Legend) Copyright © 1998 www.DarwinAwards.com = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = DARWIN AWARDS NEWSLETTER - MAY 1998 = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Visit our archives! Next issue arrives in email boxes JUNE 1998. To unsubscribe, please reply to this email with the word "cancel" = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =