The Darwin Awards 

Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2009 Mentions
Mortar Fire
The Mane Attraction
My Father, the PhD
Down In The Dumps
Single Bud Vase
Boom Boom Bees
Nitrating The Unknown
Chutes and Spills
Not Even Half-Baked
Homemade Howitzer
Cap-ping Cap-pow
White Spirit
Clap Clap Clap Your Hands
Pill Pusher
Bonehead Bowling
Gimpy Wendy
Duct Don't
A Putty Bullet
Mr. Tinker
Hot Buns
Cats Land On All Fours
Ninja Wannabe
Agua Ski Calamity
Ninja Deer Hunter
An Un-Fun Whirlwind
Christmas Light Zinger
The Great Fruitcake Incident
Tennis Blow
Motorized Bar Stool
Caps'n'Hammer Kid
Locker Room Humor
A Drilliant Idea
A Clear Lesson
Birch Slapped
Against The Odds, Nothing!
Other Mention Years 
2018 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum


2009 At-Risk Survivor
The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. Next Prev Random

Bonehead Bowling
2009 At-Risk Survivor
Unconfirmed by Darwin

Category: Gravity
Location: Cincinnati
Date: 2006 Super Bowl Weekend

Brad tends to be rather wild at times. Brad was bowling. On one of his turns, he had trouble controlling the ball. It was not obvious whether the ball stuck to his fingers, or he simply released it far too late, but the bowling ball went sailing nearly straight up. Time stood still. Everyone froze, mouths hanging open.

Brad leaned forward and managed to say, "Where'd it go?" before suffering a glancing blow to the head as gravity took its course. The entire bowling alley went silent. Brad stumbled, put his hand to his head, and said, "I'm ok." We wanted to rush him to the hospital, but he would not have the evening ruined. Later, we were able to convince Brad to go to the hospital. While he was there, three different sets of doctors and nurses came in to hear the story, apparently not believing rumors they'd heard.

In the end, they put some staples in his head and released him. He had so much metal in his head that he set off the airport metal detector on the way home from the Super Bowl.

Fun FailBlog Bowling Ball:
car bowling

This wasn't the first, nor last, of Brad's escapades.

Brad was racing on the highway against a friend in a blizzard, when his windshield wiper flew completely off. Normal people would slow down and focus on maintaining control, but Brad chose to stick his head out the window and continue racing.

In another case, our Brad decided that walking thirty feet around a chain-link fence was too much trouble, so he decided to climb over it. While I'm not entirely sure what happened, the end result was Brad screaming on the other side, having ripped the crotch out of his pants and fallen bleeding over on the other side.

Recently Brad dove headfirst down a muddy slope at a rained-out NASCAR event, and got a small rock lodged in his forehead. The doctor is reported to have said, "So that's what your skull looks like." Brad's forehead was ballooned out for several months. Picture that.

It's not certain when Brad will eventually earn himself a Darwin Award, but he is certainly making a spirited attempt at it, and odds are in Darwin's favor.

Reference: Anonymous "friend"

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend © 1994 - 2018