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Darwin Awards
2009 At-Risk Survivor
Email a Friend The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. Next Prev Random

 
 
Single Bud Vase
2009 At-Risk Survivor
Unconfirmed by Darwin

MEDICAL REPORT: I was a nurse on a busy surgical unit, and I received a report that a young patient was arriving with "severe penile lacerations." I could not imagine what this poor lad had done to injure himself. The 21-year-old patient confided that, upset by his girlfriend's unwillingness to have intimate relations, he had romanced a flower vase. Alas, in the heat of the moment the bud vase shattered, lacerating his penis.

He required emergency surgery. Afterward, the urologist told us that the boy would require a catheter for weeks, and he was unsure if his mojo would be functional. I felt sorry for the kid, but did laugh when I saw his girlfriend walking down the hall, bringing flowers.

ORIGINAL SUBMISSION

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
Submitted by: Anonymous Nurse
Reference: Personal Account of Medical Personnel

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The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.
$15
185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...!

This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone.

Autographed by Author!

 

 


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