The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2007 Mentions
Unfinished Project
Buffalo Stampede
Definitely Not Deadly
'Bite Me!'
Kicked the Bucket
Splitting Headache
Recycled Bullets
Bed Of Embers
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Joking A Round
A Slippery Slope
Shattered Ego
Hot-Rod
The Spirit is Willing
Stormwater Surfer
Miss a Near Miss
Other Mention Years 
2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2007 At-Risk Survivor
Email a Friend The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. Next Prev Random

 
 
Recycled Bullets
2007 At-Risk Survivor
Confirmed True by Darwin

Bugs Bunny was smarter...

(12 May 2007, Lake Luzerne, New York) Adult survivors of the teenage years are well aware that teenager exists in a private world where he already knows everything he needs to know. Here is the story of one teenager who was finally prompted to reconsider his mental acumen, and admit that he not only doesn't know everything, he really doesn't know anything.

In a 1943 Bugs Bunny cartoon, Falling Hare, the wascally wabbit matches wits with a gremlin at a US airbase. The gremlin is bashing a bombshell with a mallet in an attempt to detonate it, and Bugs Bunny comes up and asks if he can have "a whack at it". Just before the mallet hits the bombshell, Bugs stops and screams, "WHAT AM I DOING?!!"

The subject of today's story did not have the epiphany that Bugs had.

This 18 year old decided he needed money, probably for beer -- I recall being 18 once. The problem now becomes how to raise money for said beer?

He knew that brass shell casings could be sold for $1.70 per pound to the Capitol Scrap Co. in Albany. The trouble was, he didn't have any empty brass shell casings. But he did have full brass shells. He merely needed to empty them, thereby creating scrap metal.

Our protaganist began discharging .223-caliber rounds by placing each in a steel vise, putting the tip of a screwdriver on the primer, and striking the screwdriver with a hammer. One hundred rounds later...

The police were called to his home when a bullet penetrated his abdomen by a half-inch. He was treated at Glens Falls Hospital and released. Since the abdomen contains the reproductive organs, it is possible that his brilliant fund-raising idea rendered him sterile, but as there is no evidence, we can only award him an At-Risk Survivor for narrowly surviving his brush with death.

The total amount these shell casings were worth?
Approximately $6.

Submissions: 1, 2, 3.

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2017
Submitted by: Jonathan Brown, Patrick Long, Chuck O, Rob McCutcheon, Susan Arenson, and dozens of alert readers.
Reference: Albany Times Union, The Associated Press, CNN.

Previous Directions Next

Selected From The Darwin Awards Gift Shop @ Zazzle




Purchases Help Fund The Darwin Awards Team

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend