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The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. |
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The driver decided to flee. His tires, mired in the snow, spun wildly but the car went nowhere. Constable Morgan thought he would have a little fun. He began running in place alongside the driver's window. The driver was surprised to see the Constable keeping up with his car. The speedometer read 100 kph. Constable Morgan broke the window glass with his flashlight and ordered, "Pull over!" The driver's response? He jammed the pedal to the metal! The car's speedometer had reached 175 kph yet, astonishingly, the Constable was keeping pace and ordering the driver to stop. Finally, convinced he was never going to outrun the fleet-footed officer, the drunk man let off the gas, turned the wheel, and brought his car to a "stop." The Constable escorted the man to his patrol vehicle, which had magically followed the two on their mad dash across the snow-covered tundra. The man was charged with DWI, speeding, and failing to yield to a policeman. Brought before the judge for arraignment, the man, who had not quite regained his wits, saluted the incredible athletic prowess of the local officers.
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
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Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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