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The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. |
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(28 November 2004, Idaho) Police found Thomas lying on the floor behind his bar, bleeding from a gunshot wound. A .22 caliber revolver lay on the floor nearby. The cash register was open, but the cash was undisturbed. It appeared that the bar owner had bravely fended off a robbery attempt--but looks can be deceiving!
Actually, the man had brought his gun along for protection when he unloaded the Saturday-night revenue from the cash register. Thomas had trouble getting the register drawer open, so he tucked the gun under his arm and applied a bit more force. The gun slipped, hit the floor, and shot him through the groin, narrowly missing his reproductive organs and his heart before lodging in his right chest cavity. But at least the cash was safe! (4 August 2004, Oklahoma) In a similar incident, law enforcement officers called off their search for an escaped prisoner in order to help a gunshot victim. The victim had been carrying a .22-caliber pistol in the waistband of his cut-off jeans to protect himself from an escaped prisoner he had heard about. To be extra safe, he had pulled back the hammer of the gun before putting it into his pants. The gun went off and shot him in the left buttock. The victim admitted that the incident was "one of my most embarrassing moments." The escapee remained at large.
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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