The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2000 Mentions
Mr. Happy's Vacuum
Bodacious Bud
Revenge of the Gopher
Archery Practice
Woman Disarmed by Tiger
Stubborn Stains
Concealed Weapon
Wile E. Coyote of Burglars
Petrol Stockpile
Three Times a Loser
Pick Your Target
I Just Flicked My Bic!
Amateur Murderer
Explosive Mix of Girls
All Aboard
Armed and Dangerous?
Cheez Whiz
Chimney Manners
Trash Compactor
Runaway Bridge
Tainted Turkey
Coors Light and the Ultra Light
The Party's Over
Other Mention Years 
2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2000 At-Risk Survivor
Email a Friend Although the stupidity displayed in the following tales stops short of the ultimate sacrifice, we salute the spirit and innovation shown in these misadventures. Next
Prev
Random

 
 
Chimney Manners  
2000 At-Risk Survivor
Confirmed True by Darwin

(9 May 2000, California) Shaun violated a restraining order when he climbed into his 50-year-old paramour's chimney. But he could not violate the laws of physics. His body predictably became wedged in the in the 12"x15" shaft, and the 30-year-old man was given a few hours of enforced solitude to contemplate his predicament.

Some time later, a neighbor investigating a mysterious shrill voice followed its instructions and discovered the source to be Shaun, stuck Santa-like in the narrow shaft. "I couldn't believe anyone could possibly fit in there," she said. But there he was, 12 feet down the chimney in a squatting position, trapped with his arms above his head.

Los Angeles firefighters attempted to pull the man from the shaft with a rope, but were unsuccessful. Then they called in a jackhammer crew, who chipped a hole through the brick while the chimney dweller screamed in fear. Eventually the man was freed from the narrow confines, and found himself surrounded by reporters who had gathered during the lengthy rescue.

He triumphantly told the reporters, "I'm so stupid I'll probably win a Darwin Award!" Then Shaun was arrested on suspicion of stalking and burglary, and lost the liberty he had so recently gained. As he is still alive, his escapade doesn't satisfy the rules, but Shaun will no doubt be proud to learn that he has received an At-Risk Survivor. Keep your eyes on this future Darwin Award winner!

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012

Submitted by: Charles Norman, Ian Skinner

Reference: San Diego Union

Previous Directions Next

Selected From The Darwin Awards Gift Shop @ Zazzle




Purchases Help Fund The Darwin Awards Team

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend