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1999 Honorable Mentions
| Although the stupidity displayed in the following tales stops short of the ultimate sacrifice, we salute the spirit and innovation shown in these misadventures. |
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Zany New Zealand Contest
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(7 June 1999, New Zealand) A computer technician trainee set his own penis aflame in a successful attempt to win $NZ500 cash and an equal bar tab. Thomas stapled his penis to a white crucifix, poured cigarette lighter fluid over it, and set it on fire in his bid to win a controversial "How Far Will You Go?" promotion for Trader McKendry's Tavern in Christchurch. The event, sponsored by New Zealand Breweries, encouraged patrons to compete for the most lewd act. Thomas walked away with the top prize, which he used for car registration, a warrant of fitness, and registration for his bloodhound Puss. He obtained free medical treatment for his bruised and burned penis at a student clinic, He says his member "was a wee bit tender the next day," but after two weeks he has almost recovered, and expresses no regrets about his actions. |
The prize winner claims he is no masochist. "I'm a student so every bit helps. It was worth the money, and it's all better now. I thought my act was unbeatable.' He intends to use the bar tab to buy burgers and pies every day for lunch. Thomas' mother Barbara, who was in the audience, was pleased her son won. "He is a grown man and I'm relieved that he won. I would have hated for someone to go through all that and not achieve the object of it all." Pictures of Thomas' Qualifying Round from Rotten.com: please send proof of your adult status to Darwin. Ask for the Zanies. |
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Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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