1999 Honorable Mentions

The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures.

Caulker Burner 1999 Honorable Mention Unconfirmed by Darwin (1999, Scotland) The shipyard at Port Glasgow used a plasma cutter to cut steel for boats according to plans. For smaller holes, the plasma torch would just cut out the hole. But for larger holes, it was programmed to leave sections of uncut steel to make sure that no one could accidentally fall through. Once the steelwork had been positioned on the ship, a caulker burner would use an oxy-acetylene blowtorch to burn through the six-inch sections, thereby creating the properly-sized hole in the steel. Enter our hero. Crawford was a caulker burner, and he had been tasked with the job of going onto the ship and cutting away these sections. The piece in question had been designed to allow a large exhaust pipe to come through the deck. Crawford began his task of burning away the steel. But Crawford had decided to stand in the middle of the hole he was burning out, which lead to a rather nasty fifteen-foot fall onto scaffolding below. He escaped with a few broken ribs and a month off work. Luckily for him, neither the blowtorch nor the large steel plate fell on top of him, therefore denying him a gloriously well-deserved Darwin Award. Darwin asks, "I already have two confirmations. Can anyone else confirm this?" ORIGINAL SUBMISSION DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008 Reference: Greenock Telegraph and an anonymous eyewitness account of a 12-year veteran of the shipyards. Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great? Hate it! Love it!

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