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Darwin Awards
2015 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

In Kiev, Pavement meets you!

2015 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Well this one is a toss up as to wherther one teen (who is above the age of 16 I might add0 got a Darwin or not.. as this one was too close to call. The whole story revolves around one 17-year-old Jacob Simonenko, (Maturity check).. who with a buddy of his had been drinking.. (Okay self selection, check..)

Now these two drunk teens (agan one of them being 17, and taht of ocurse was Jacomb really were questioning whether to slid down the sloped the sloped glass wall of the SEC shopping center But thanks to peer pressure and a lack of Judgement (Check), these two decided to slide down the glass slope and clear the steps at the bottom of the slide..

Now while His Buddy got off lucky clearning the stairs and landing on the ground okay but a bit snookered, the friend was able to get up and walk away. Jacob however wasn't so lucky.. he didn't quite clear the steps and hit the bottom most step crusing both ihis legs.. the he bounced and ended up hitting the pavement face first with some serious injuries (Okay DQ'ed for lack of Killing himself.. But wait, this could changee because of the "Sterile Rule!"

Jacob had in fact suffered being knocked out cold, and hended up with a broken back and neck, and spine..(Hmmm does this count for the sterile rule as this guy actually won't be able to procreate because of the fact that he's probably paralized form the neck down? (Let's see what the judges think.. So did Jacob get an award? or an At Risk survivor. (I would tend to lean for the former as it seems if Jacob can't walk or get up out of a wheel chair, the the sterilization rule does apply does it not?)

Oh and how else can we meet the Veracity Rule? Answer.. Go to the Video tape!

Yes this whole thing was supposed to be a viral video stunt.. and it was videoed, and placed on Youtube..(and here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFRRRBFzWWw )

So juedges in your best interest is this a Close Honorable mention? or a true Darwin based on the Sterilization rule due to injury to the head , neck and spine?

I'll eave this one up to the folks at Darwin.. Cause in Kieve Ukraine, when you are drunk.. You dont kiss the pavement, instead.. the Pavement kisses YOU .. Hard...

Submitted on 04/20/2015

Submitted by: Paul Bender
Reference: http://www.inquisitr.com/2024041/drunk-teens-attempt-to-slide-down-a-building-in-ukraine-and-it-does

Copyright © 2015 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Lacks Excellence
Sorry, Paul, but this doesn't say Darwin to me. The other moderators may differ. Thanks anyway, and submit again.


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
After watching the video on the linked page I'm more than willing to give these guys an HM. What on earth were they thinking, sliding down such a steep inclined directly towards what can be best described as a set of large concrete steps? They're lucky they didn't crack their skulls open! Thanks, Paul! FYI, here's a direct link to the Youtube video in case the news link fails: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFRRRBFzWWw


James said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
OUCH! STUPID!! Thanks, Paul!


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