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Darwin Awards
2014 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

zipline (flying fox) thriller ride

2014 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

(December 5th 5:30pm New Zealand) 53 year old 130kg (now remember the weight for later) Mosis Tohu (Uncle Mo) was attending a Christmas function at a adventure park with 16 workers from a neighbouring workplace. Mo had climbed on the bus organised by the coordinator and travelled the 100km to the park but unlike the others on the bus decided to start drinking before arriving at the park. This being the first of many of his mistakes he made this day as the drinking got him excluded from the line up of the days activities. So as the day went on Mo got to sit and watch the rest play paintball, Archery then Clay Shooting all from the carpark as the drinking had got him excluded from the Paintball viewing area as well. As the day went on and he sat and waited he noticed the park had a giant flying fox(motorized zipline) right over the carpark and the rest of the park (said to be the 2nd bigest in the country), also noticing the sign with the 110kg weight restriction he know besides getting excluded from activities by drinking there was no way he was going to get on it ..... well no legitimate way... but he really wanted a ride on it..

So.. while everyone was busy with activities at the other end of the park he decided to scale up to the mammoth beast and see what he could do about getting himself this ride. Once up there with great calculation and problem solving he deducted that because the carriage wouldn’t move as it was tethered to the hand rail he needed to pull it to bits to free the tether but in doing this reassembled it incorrectly.

He then proceeded to attempt to hang onto the device and take his ride ignoring the fact that this ride took quite some time and required the harness that was sitting in the box right next to him to be able to take the ride and stay on it. At first the flying fox didn’t want to move as he had deducted incorrectly and hadnt actually unlocked the return drive so he proceeded to force it to move until the drive broke. Then missing the fact that he was to heavy and not harnessed in he only got a few meters after launching himself off the 2m high platform and hit the ground. getting up and dusting himself off not learning from the experience or noticing a few facts of what lay ahead he then dragged the device to the edge of the bank where he could get better ground clearance and relaunched himself giving himself the thrill ride of a lifetime or well the end of it. As with all this careful calculation he failed to calculate that with no one operating this mammoth beast and the fact he had broken it to get it going there was no way back and with the mammoth beast being some 20m off the ground at the centre (resting place) of its travel there was no way off with the exception of the way Mo took loosing his grip and plummeting to the ground to his demise. For this we decided to nominate uncle Mo for the darwin award .

ref http://www.aefun.co.nz/pouakai.php http://www.nzherald.co.nz/northern-advocate/news/article.cfm?c_id=1503450&objectid=11373483

Submitted on 12/13/2014

Submitted by: Jason Tohu
Reference: Shutting up shop, NZ herald dec 13 2014

Copyright © 2014 DarwinAwards.com

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Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
...he ignored the weight restrictions, broke vital items (twice), didn't use vital safety equipment, *and* had no spotter??? Alcohol messes with judgement and inhibitions, but there's a point where it's stupid and self-selecting beyond that. Thanks Jason!


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
I have to agree with Candi. Given the amount of effort this man undertook he's definitely worthy of a DA in my opinion. Thanks, Jason!


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