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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Head Brick Break

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Breaking a concrete brick is one of the most difficult feats in the Martial Arts. Most artists train for years before they even touch their first brick. Proper technique calls, in Tae Kwon Do, for one of two breaks for a first time Martial Artist. I chose, in my instance, to curl my fist and bring it down on the slab, much like a hammer would function. This procedure, before I even attended my graduation, consisted of three weeks of practice as to how to perform this maneuver properly.

Hardly worth a Darwin, let alone an honorable mention. What is worth considering is the antics of my friend, who was in attendance at my Graduation. After watching me break the concrete slab, he decided something along the lines of “Hey, that looked really easy!”. My family dropped him off at his home, and we went to a buffet to celebrate my graduation, leaving our contender alone, to tend to his own devices.

Monday rolled around, and he did not show up at school. Concerned, I decided to give him a call and make sure he was all right. Needless to say, he wasn’t. According to his mother, she came home to find a cinder block propped up between two logs, with blood all over the block. When she went inside, she found my friend… with a broken hand, a shattered wrist, fractured heels, and the front of his skull smashed in from his vigorous interaction with a cinder block, combined with multiple compound fractures. While he does not have any noticeable permanent damage (as of the time of this writing, 2 weeks in, he is healing well), he has shown no interest in breaking another brick any time soon.

To my friend, next time, before you use your head… use your head!

Submitted on 06/10/2008

Submitted by:
Reference: Personal Account

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
It's friends like yours who are responsible for the "Do not try this at home" disclaimers you now see everywhere. Thanks for a great story!


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I guess your friend wanted the bragging rights without first paying his dues! I imagine he discovered it is NOT all that easy! Great story! Thanks!


Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

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